Suffering promotes learning. Jenny immigrated to the US when she was
eight years old from China. Now a senior in college, Jenny reflects on her
senior year in high school after testing positive for the tuberculin skin test,
also known as the Mantoux or PPD (Purified Protein Derivative) test. However, false
positive tests are common if, for example, Jenny had BCG vaccine against
tuberculosis, or was exposed to nontuberculour myobacteria or the TB bacteria
in the environment. To be certain, she would need to undergo chest x-ray and
blood tests. Sitting in her pajamas in her room, Jenny recalls the story that
changed her perception on suffering:
“When my skin swelled to the size
of a quarter, my doctor told me that I got tuberculosis (TB). I got freaked
out! Even though later I had a negative chest x-ray, I still had to take
medication every day for nine straight months!” Luckily for Jenny, most people
with the latent TB infection never develop into active TB disease. Nonetheless,
because TB can spread through air, it is the leading cause of death worldwide.[1]
Under US law, any suspected TB patient is required to take free prescribed
medication for nine months.
“Taking the medicine was very stressful because I had to take it to school
with me and remember to take the pills secretly during lunch. I often forgot because I didn’t show any
symptoms.”
Suffering often takes a patient on
an emotional roller coaster ride. Frustration is the first hill that Jenny
climbs. “I felt slightly out of control and angry because being a high school senior
is supposed to be fun and stress free! There was a lack of support from my doctor.
I never understood what’s TB because I only got ten minutes with him.” After
the first hill of frustration, the next drop is solitude. “I couldn’t relate
with my friends because none of them have to undergo this. And I was the only
person that I know who has showed a positive skin test.” After solitude, Jenny
then climbs the hill of worry. “I was concerned because I don’t know anything
about TB! I kept wondering where I
could have picked it up. I was
worried for my family member. My siblings are small. I could easily infect them.
So I made all of them to get tested. I also skipped a few days of medication: will
I get TB someday?” After all the small hills, the most exciting drop is the
desire for more knowledge. “I did research on Yahoo Health to learn about the disease and its symptoms. It was all down to me since my doctor
and family couldn’t help.”
Accompanying the frightening ride
is the thrill of self-awakening. “The
experience was good because I was eighteen with college and my whole life in
front of me. TB was an upset in my life, but it taught me that life is precious.”
Suffering also inspires learning.
“It made me want to become a doctor, to have more control over my health.”
Life is a ride: full of ups and downs,
excitements and disappointments. The
journey involves struggle, which usually transforms into personal growth. Through
illness, we gain knowledge, self-awareness, and understanding of life. Suffering
tests our inner strength and values. When disappointment stops us, we have to
change our own perspectives. Yet it is also this fear, excitement, and learning
that will prepare us for the next phase in life’s rollercoaster ride.
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